GOD SAID "NO"
A tribute to my mother:
It was a normal summer day and the number 3 son, who at that time lived in Waterloo, Iowa, had come to Des Moines. He came periodically to check on my mother, who was diabetic and pretty sick. He was pretty close to my mother, who as a young boy about seven years old and had encouraged him to join a children’s choir with his younger brother and three cousins. Upon discovering that he had a talent for singing alone, she encouraged him even more to sing solo parts and he began to sing gospel music; went to and later on went to college and got a degree in Music Education.
Earlier that morning of June 18, 1995, I begin to have a strong feeling of depression come over me and as I tried to shake it off, I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way. I hadn’t felt depressed since my divorce which was in 1980. It was June 18, 1995, in fact it was father’s day. Number 3 son and I had gone to the shopping mall to purchase my dad a gift for Father’s Day. “Mother will like this watch I brought him,” I said to him.
I had straightened up their house earlier as they were due back anytime from a church camp meeting that was held yearly in Kansas City, Kansas.
All of my life I had a close relationship with my mother. I could tell her anything. She was more than a mother and she spent so much time with us. As a child, I could not stand for her to leave town with her friends on the weekends. My life seemed so empty without her until she would return. My dad worked all night and slept for a short while during the day. I always told myself that when my mother passes away, I would die with her because I knew the impact would be too much for me to bear. As the years went by, I continued to believe that my life would end when hers did.
That day on June 18th when my son and I returned from the mall, I was thinking that my parents should be home by now and I would take my dad’s present to him. We were driving down the street just around the corner from where my youngest son and I lived. I looked out the car window and saw my other sons walking down the street. I smiled and thought, oh is this brother’s day or something – they are all looking to visit me? They followed us around the corner to my house and into the driveway. As we exited the car, I asked “is grandma and grandpa back yet?” My oldest son came up to me and began to rub me on the back, and then he blurted out –“‘we lost grandma on the highway today.”
I looked in disbelief and thought for a second, he must be kidding me, then I came to the realization that no one would joke about something like that.
This was ten years ago tomorrow (June 18, 2005). She and my dad were involved in a tragic truck trailer accident in which my mother did not survive. The last words I remember she saying to me before she left was “Sharon, I’m going to be alright.” Those words have crossed my mind so many times. People have said to me, she is alright; she’s with the LORD now. As the title of my blog says “God said “no.” I thought that when my mother died, I would die with her, but God said “no,” it’s not your time yet. That was ten years ago and I’m still around and very surprised that I survived without my mother. My children say I’m a good mother. They say many good things about me. All I can say is I’m just like my mother. My dad is still living thank God and I love him very much too and am constantly afraid that I will come home some day and hear bad news about him. I keep him in my prayers and must remember that God answers our prayers daily.
It was a normal summer day and the number 3 son, who at that time lived in Waterloo, Iowa, had come to Des Moines. He came periodically to check on my mother, who was diabetic and pretty sick. He was pretty close to my mother, who as a young boy about seven years old and had encouraged him to join a children’s choir with his younger brother and three cousins. Upon discovering that he had a talent for singing alone, she encouraged him even more to sing solo parts and he began to sing gospel music; went to and later on went to college and got a degree in Music Education.
Earlier that morning of June 18, 1995, I begin to have a strong feeling of depression come over me and as I tried to shake it off, I couldn’t understand why I was feeling this way. I hadn’t felt depressed since my divorce which was in 1980. It was June 18, 1995, in fact it was father’s day. Number 3 son and I had gone to the shopping mall to purchase my dad a gift for Father’s Day. “Mother will like this watch I brought him,” I said to him.
I had straightened up their house earlier as they were due back anytime from a church camp meeting that was held yearly in Kansas City, Kansas.
All of my life I had a close relationship with my mother. I could tell her anything. She was more than a mother and she spent so much time with us. As a child, I could not stand for her to leave town with her friends on the weekends. My life seemed so empty without her until she would return. My dad worked all night and slept for a short while during the day. I always told myself that when my mother passes away, I would die with her because I knew the impact would be too much for me to bear. As the years went by, I continued to believe that my life would end when hers did.
That day on June 18th when my son and I returned from the mall, I was thinking that my parents should be home by now and I would take my dad’s present to him. We were driving down the street just around the corner from where my youngest son and I lived. I looked out the car window and saw my other sons walking down the street. I smiled and thought, oh is this brother’s day or something – they are all looking to visit me? They followed us around the corner to my house and into the driveway. As we exited the car, I asked “is grandma and grandpa back yet?” My oldest son came up to me and began to rub me on the back, and then he blurted out –“‘we lost grandma on the highway today.”
I looked in disbelief and thought for a second, he must be kidding me, then I came to the realization that no one would joke about something like that.
This was ten years ago tomorrow (June 18, 2005). She and my dad were involved in a tragic truck trailer accident in which my mother did not survive. The last words I remember she saying to me before she left was “Sharon, I’m going to be alright.” Those words have crossed my mind so many times. People have said to me, she is alright; she’s with the LORD now. As the title of my blog says “God said “no.” I thought that when my mother died, I would die with her, but God said “no,” it’s not your time yet. That was ten years ago and I’m still around and very surprised that I survived without my mother. My children say I’m a good mother. They say many good things about me. All I can say is I’m just like my mother. My dad is still living thank God and I love him very much too and am constantly afraid that I will come home some day and hear bad news about him. I keep him in my prayers and must remember that God answers our prayers daily.
posted by The Gig at 1:56 PM
5 Comments:
What a touching story
May the Lord be with you on this anniversary of your mother's passing.
Your post was such a touching one. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
That was a lovely story. *HUGS* Thank you for sharing.
Sharon, That was a very touching blog. I myself have wondered what I would do without my mother. She raised us boys by herself with no help. And always seemed to make time for us. Just from the way you right your blogs, I can tell you are a fabulous mother and a very caring person. Keep your eyes on the master and remember he loves you. And so do we.
Hello, I think you have done so well since grandmas death. We all certainly wondered what would happen to you if and when that happened. But what happened is that you grew to another level. You lead by good example.
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