Still Having Trouble Logging In and Commenting

A few days ago, I reset my password and was able to post and even make comments on a couple other blogs; however, a couple days later I attempted to write a post and comment on other blogs, but kept getting a message that my password was invalid.

Today I got my password reset but don't know if it will stay. Hope to be back into the blog set soon without having problems with it. In the meanwhile I shall continue to try. Have a blessed week.

WHERE HAVE I BEEN???

Right here all along. Somehow my password got messed up and I have been unable to post and/or comment on your posts. Tonight I had time to investigate this situation because I MISS YOU ALL!

My grandson was born on March 20th. He is really little and is a cutie!! What have I been up to???
SPOILING THE GRANDSON!!! YIPPE!! He has big pretty eyes and his dad's appetite, ha, ha
God has been good to me -- I LOVE KIDS, especially my grandkids.

STILL WAITING FOR GRANDBABY!

THE BABY HAS NOT COME YET!!! Perhaps the doctors calculated the wrong date or maybe they were given the wrong date. Grandma is still waiting patiently (or impatiently) as this will be number seven grandbaby, and I also have a great grandbaby. God has been good!

To all you Leprechauns and Irishmen/women out there -- hope you had a happy St. Patrick's Day! How many of you found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? :-) I found the pot of Gold at the end of the rainbow in that as a Seventh-Day-Adventist Christian, I went to church and spent quality time with the Lord. We had a wonderful Communion service. When I heard the testimonies of my fellow Saints, it just gave me clarification that to have faith in the Lord and believe, he will pour out many blessings upon you.

Yesterday, my number two son and his wife came to visit and they had a video camera. They wanted me to talk into the camera to the baby and take a tour around the house and show the baby where daddy grew up at. I went from room to room, even the basement and told the baby about daddy's lack of doing chores. We got a good laugh about that one. Also we went outdoors and taped the surroundings in the neighborhood where daddy played, the bike trail, the neighborhood kids, and where they played baseball which was in the street right in front of our house. It was fun to do -- my number two son is a comedian also. What can I say -- a familly of comedians??? I love it. :-)

Mz Gig - Anxious???

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a pest, calling so much,” but I went to prayer meeting tonight and had to turn off my phone while we were praying and I was afraid you might call while the phone is off.”

“Don’t worry, if anything had happened we would have called you.”

“I love you mom, and when the baby comes, we will call you.”

“It just seems as though whenever I am expecting a call, I will be home all day and as soon as I step out, even for a few minutes, that’s when the call comes.”

“The baby hasn’t come yet and nothing has happened.”

“When you called me I was at school conferences and my wife was at work, so we couldn’t answer our phones, and if we can’t get in touch with you when the baby comes, I will send T after you.”

What is that all about???? Number two son and his wife are expecting their first baby who is due today and I want to be there when it happens. This will be my seventh grandchild, plus there is a great grandchild. You would think that after having four sons, six grandchildren and one great grandchild, this would be old to me.

Here’s the scoop – At first, my daughter-in-law said she didn’t want any children and number two son went along with it even though he wanted them. When his wife got pregnant, he was sooo excited. He has been very nervous and this has been humorous to me.

“I don’t know if I can change diapers; give the baby a bath, etc.”

So his wife arranged for him to take a class for fathers where they had real babies to learn from. I got a big kick out of that one.

In my mind, I could picture him being a father but it is quite amusing because he is a big athletic football player and coach, and believe me whenever he does anything domestic, it looks awkward, therefore, I cannot wait to see him as a dad, plus the wife did not want to know before hand what gender the baby is so I am anxious to know about that too.

While at prayer meeting this evening, I was supposed to sing special music. It was special alright but not exactly what I intended it to be. I have acid reflux and my throat was messed up, therefore, so was the song. What an ordeal.

Who's In Control??

Last evening I had the privilege of joining some of my Christian brothers and sisters at a young people’s worship service. This is something that we do the second Sabbath evening of each month. The adults and children get together to enjoy praising the Lord in song, prayer, topics of discussion, and food.

After the song service, we have a circle of prayer in which everybody young and old offers a prayer. The topic of our discussion last evening was on “control;” whether or not we or God is in control of our lives. This subject is very thought provoking and several people offered their opinions. After much discussion, we pretty much agreed that God is in control.

In my opinion, God gives us a choice. He does not force us into anything. However, he has given us a book of instructions that he intends for us to follow. It is up to us whether or not we decide to follow his word or not. We determine the outcome of our lives by the way we chose to live. I believe that we make our choices by the way we are taught as young children. It’s kind of like when you set out to do a project, you may work hard to make it come out right. You may mold it and shape it, put everything you have into it. You do everything to perfect it by giving it all you have because this is something you love. You are not going to neglect it or half heartedly do it, and if you are determined for it to be a success, you will make it happen. That is the way your life should be from the time you are born until you leave this earth. Yes, God is in control of everything, but he gives us the privilege of choice; he directs our steps, his Spirit is here to lead and to guide us into all truth and righteousness, but it’s up to us whether or not we want to follow the Lord’s instruction. A co-worker once told me that the acronym for the word BIBLE is Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth. God wants us to live by his word and if we do so, our lives will be what we want them to be. He says in his word that we should seek first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all of these things shall be added unto you, Matthew 6:33. God is in control but he wants us to allow him to control our lives.

ICE, ICE, ICE - EVERYWHERE!

I haven't been able to post since Valentine's Day. Was unable to get into blogger to post because they want me to set up an account through Google, and of course I had trouble with it. I think one of my sons came to my rescue. We'll see what happens in the next few days.

I've missed all of you. You know a person needs to revisit their life when they love to come to the blog, and when they see the same friends in their comment section, it pleases them, and visiting their blogs and commenting.

We are expecting yet another bad storm here in Iowa. We had an ice storm last week and pretty much everyone was snowed in. Churches were cancelled, including mine. Well, the Lord has given us a couple of days to recuperate and then we are going to have fun this weekend too. Please pray that no one looses their power. A lot of people lost their power and our Lt. Governor was on television warning people who still have no power to go to shelters or if anyone knows an elderly person who has no power to take them in. Our storm was supposed to start last night and be bad today and so far it looks normal outside but that's the way it looked last week, and when people went outside, they were slipping and sliding, and cars were iced shut, and Brotha Buck, who lives in Texas had the nerve to call complaining about 40 degree weather, saying "it's cold here." Can you believe it? He should be used to weather colder than that, after all he grew up in Iowa.

Well here we go again, another storm -- hey Buck - come home for a visit, I'm sure you will enjoy yourself -- ha, ha

One of my neighbors was kind enough to clear my driveway with her snow blower the day before we were to return to work. The snow plows came and blocked our driveways with snow piled high and the next day when we both went outside and tried to get out of our driveways, we couldn't.

God knows best and I will trust that he will watch over all of us.

BLESSINGS ON VALENTINE'S DAY!!

I hope everyone out there in blogland is having a great day of love and appreciation! Some of you perhaps got an engagement ring; perhaps you are celebrating a anniversary, or maybe getting to spend some quality time with your loved one.

Today I went to work in a mischievous mood. My job takes me to a special program for at risk girls. Believe me these girls are some characters, but I love them. Oh yeah, I get quite disgusted with their belligerent behaviors, lack of respect, yelling and screaming, disrespect to staff members but they can also be pleasant. Of course I can feel this way because I am the Administrative Assistant and don't have to impose consequences on them so I do not get the negative actions as I mentioned above. Anyway, I made a small red smock or top, and on the back I drew dots; at one of the dollar stores I found a head band with a lady bug on top of it. On my computer, I made some coupons that said the coupon is redeemable for a hug on Valentine's day or any other day and this was from the "hug bug" as I called myself. When each student came in, they all received a coupon and a hug which they all got a kick out of, plus each staff member did too. Later, just before they left for home, they received a valentine card with two snickers in it. All in all the day was fun for me. I guess I enjoy it every time I get to show off my humorous side, especially for the kids. You can say that I looked absolutely ridulous and enjoyed every moment of it. My co-workers (and even my boss)thought it was cute, and actually so did the kids. (Having a cheerful heart today).

Kids are some of my favorite people. They can be quite a challenge but they can be some pretty neat folk. I wish that people could go back to raising their kids like they want to, letting them know who the parent is. I don't condone child abuse, nor do I condone parent abuse. I do; however, sanction tough love.

Anyway -- where ever you are today, may the LORD be in your hearts, minds, and souls. Remember -- God is Love so that makes today his day. Take a brief moment, tell someone how much you really love them. If you have had a disagreement or if you have been holding onto a grudge with someone -- say a heartfelt prayer, pick up the phone, call that person and made amends and mean it. If they don't respond back in a positive way -- at least you will receive a blessing from God.

LOVE YOU ALL - Ms. Gig

BUSTED? NO EMBARASSED! "HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?

This past Christmas eve, I spent the night at number two son’s house. Early the next morning, we exchanged gifts. My daughter-in-law had made things so fun and cute. Outside of our main gift, she brought a stocking for each of us and inside were some very nice stocking stuffers, plus she gave us other gifts beside. It was very festive and pleasant. One of my gifts was a couple of CD’s of old soul music from back in my day. It came in a package with a square key chain that played part of “When a Man Loves a Woman” when you pressed a button in front of it. Instead of putting my keys on it, I kept it in a little valentine shaped box where I keep a few keepsakes.

Last Friday, my number 4 son’s wife called and told me she was coming to town and was bringing the grandkids with her. Of course that made my day, in fact, my whole weekend. I always look forward to having my grandkids come to town and spend time with me. I guess you might say that this is my pride and joy. Anyway, I made arrangements to take the two older ones with me to church for Sabbath School and then mom would pick them up before 11:00 Worship services because she and her best friend had planned to take the girls out for the afternoon. In order to do this, I needed to give my her the key to my house and she would bring it back to me when she picked up the girls from church. I wanted to put the key on a key chain so she could keep track of it, therefore, I grabbed the one I got for Christmas, slipped the key on it and gave it to her. After Sabbath School, mom came, picked up the girls and gave me back the key to my house.

I placed it in my purse and went into the sanctuary for 11:00 Worship Service, where I sang special music and presented the children’s story to the little ones for the Children’s Ministry segment of the service. While the pastor was preaching the sermon, I felt a need to take a cough drop because my throat became dry. I began digging in my purse to get a cough drop out and accidentally hit the button on the front of the key chain and the music “When a Man Loves a Woman” began playing fairly loudly, at which time several people looked over at me (and if looks could kill, I would have been a dead duck). I looked up and around, and proceeded to walk out; removed the key and placed the keychain in my little classroom and stayed out in the foyer, while all along my mind was thinking about my position as Children's Ministry Leader, Deaconness, Singer, and all of the things I do in the church and in one split second, I was busted as a worldly person. ("How could this happen?") -- Will people judge me as a bad person now?

When the services were almost over an usher came and asked me if I was going to go back in. I told him I was too embarrassed to go back in. This usher, who happens to be a very pleasant person with a sense of humor, told me in his pleasurable way not to worry, that things happen and told me to go back in. I reluctantly re entered the sanctuary. After the service, I started back to my classroom to get the key chain and heard the song going again, at which time I looked up and a couple of the church kids had gotten a hold of the chain and pressed the button again. I quickly retrived it and placed it my coat pocket. Later I found out that people thought it was my cell phone and was, I explained the key chain situation and how it came to be in my purse. It is now back in the little heart shaped box where it should have been the day it went to church with me. What an experience; and an embarrassing one at that. Can you imagine how the pastor must have felt when this music all of a sudden drowned him out while he was preaching? :-( Well, as Forest Gump says: “Gump Happens".

I would like to read some of your embarassing moments. They are not funny at the time but it's good to laugh about them later on. :-D

What to Eat or Not to Eat - What Does the Bible Tell You?

This evening my dad, his wife and I had a conversation about the Bible. While we were talking, we touched on the subject of what we should or should not eat.

I referred to I Timothy Chapter 4, verses 1 – 5 that says:

Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils:
2. Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron:
3. Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.
4. For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving:
5. For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.


I also went to Romans Chapter 14 where it reads:

Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations.
2. For one believeth that he may eat all things: another who is weak, eateth herbs.
3. Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.
4. Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
5. One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
6. He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord: and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord, he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks: and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not and giveth God thanks.
7. For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.
8. For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live, therefore, or die, we are the Lord’s.

What in your opinion, what are these scriptures saying to you?

JUST A REMINDER

Cell Phone Govt Do Not Call


I got this reminder as an e-mail at work from a co-worker and wanted to share it with my bloggie buddies.

>>REMINDER ....12 days from today, all cell phone numbers are being
>>released to telemarketing companies
>>and you will start to receive sale calls.
>>.....YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS
>>To prevent this , call the following number from your cell phone : 888-382-1222 .
>>It is the National DO NOT CALL list. It will only take a minute of
>>your time.
>>It blocks your number for five (5) years.
>>
>>You must call from the cell phone number you wish to have blocked .
>>You cannot call from a different phone number.
>>HELP OTHERS BY PASSING THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR GO TO:
>>www.donotcall.gov

Is He a Black Jew?? No, He Just Believes in Them Part I

As a young girl, my older brother and I were raised in a strict religious home. My dad would read the Bible to us, and on Friday nights we had devotion. We sang religious songs that my dad taught us. He had a little black board he used to teach us about the Bible. My mother also joined in and would sit me on her lap and teach me religious songs. I can still almost hear her singing “Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam to shine for him each day.” (I have tears in my eyes due to remembering my mother, who passed away in 1995). Additionally, as youngsters, we attended a Jewish Sabbath School for a while; however, we weren’t able to understand most of what was being taught because they read and talked in their own language. Our religious beliefs were the same as the Jewish religion but we believed and still do believe in Christ. Our Sabbath has always been on Saturday but at that time we were not Seventh-Day Adventists. In fact, we hadn’t heard of the Adventist church until my brother met and married a young lady who was an Adventist, and she invited us to attend her church on many occasions.

My dad, in his teachings about the Jews being God’s chosen People, has always had very high feelings toward the them, and to this day, has become very close to them. One of his best friends is a Rabbi who keeps in close touch with my dad. Through reading the Bible pretty much everyday, “daddy,” as I still call him, is invited to celebrate the Passover and to the Synagogue to celebrate various holidays with them. I attend some of these occasions with my dad often. Just last week, we attended a Bar Mitzvah of a thirteen-year old son of the Rabbi. This was the second time we were invited to help the Rabbi and his family celebrate a son turning thirteen. This is a big occasion, and a lot of people attended. There was a feast, singing, dancing and the young man who was the guest of honor repeated a long speech in the Hebrew language. They were very receptive of us as usual and friendly as they think the world of my dad.

Listening to Words and Songs for the Lord

As I sit here reading blogs, I can hear the television going in the living room. I have the Trinity Broadcasting Network on and one of my favorite songs is playing "Great is Thy Faithfulness." Not only is the music beautiful, but the lyrics are great. I love listening to music, especially gospel music. I can't imagine how people can come up with the wonderful ways they praise the Lord, such as in song, i.e., the words they use to lift Him up, words to show their love for him and to show their gratitude for what He has done for us. So many wonderful ways to sanctify him. Even though we sing His praises, write poems, testify of His love for us and the magnificant miracles and wonders he brings to our lives, not to mention how he always rescues us from many bad situations; situations that seem hopeless, there are really no words we can express that could really touch the awesomeness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I have been blessed lately to actually be able to comprehend and understand more of what I read in the Bible than I have most of my life. The majority of my beliefs come from my teachings at home and from listening to my dad read and explain the Bible to me. Now I am trying to read it for myself so as to get my own understanding of it and of course I have been talking to the Lord before I read. Sometimes I have to read some sentences over and over again and perhaps say a little prayer before I can comprehend it, but the Lord is helping me to slowly catch on. I have a long way to go but I believe that God will help me get to where I want to be when it comes to him.

Incidently, I have many favorite Spiritual songs but I believe the most beautiful I've ever heard is, indeed, "The Lord's Prayer." God Bless you all out there in blog land.

To All Prayer Warriors Out There

I am asking for prayer for a Christian brother who goes to my church. He is pretty ill and needs prayer. I don't know exactly what the matter is, but really don't need to know. The fact that he is ill is enough. God knows the whole circumstances and will take care of it. His name is Robert, and is one of those guys who we can always depend on and is always more than willing to do his part. He is fun to be around and makes everyone laugh. Also he is a very nice Spiritual person. He has a wife and children so they will need prayer too.

I believe that if there is little prayer, there will be little power, more prayer is more power and much prayer is much power. I thank you in advance for talking to our Lord on behalf of Robert. I claim healing for him already. God bless you all.

Understanding an Alzheimers Patient

My Ex-sister-in-law has Alzheimers disease. I had visited her at her home a few times while her mother went bowling. She doesn't talk but would chuckle sometimes when I talked to her.

Recently she started to fall down a lot and was refusing to get into bed. Her mother couldn't get her up and into bed. After this started to happen a few times, her mom decided to place her in a nursing home (something she had never wanted to do). I have visited her in the nursing home and have tried to talk with her but I'm not really sure if she understands what I'm saying. I don't know how to go about communicating with her. I would smile and perhaps talk to her in a empathetic way and she would look at me with a blank expression. Since being admitted to the nursing home; it seems as though she has almost shut down (I'm just guessing). The other day I went to see her and she just looked at me and then stared into space.

Tonight I went to visit her and she was at dinner. When she saw me, it seemed as though she recognized me as someone she knew. Again she didn't talk, and I hadn't heard the little chuckle at all. I talked to her, trying this time to act normal like I used before she contacted this dreadful disease. I hugged her and showed her some affection when she began to regurchitate her food. I brought a picture album and showed her pictures, talking to her and reminding her who everyone is. She seemed very interested and at one point, she chuckled.

If anyone out there can tell me anything about a person with Alzheimers disease and how to communicate with them; if they possibly understand when you talk to them even if they aren't talking, I would appreciate some information that would help me to relate to her. Thank you in advance.

Why the Tears???

So why in the world did I get tears in my eyes when I read about Saddam Hussein being hanged? He was one of the most brutal individuals I’d ever known of. When I read the article on the internet, I guess it hit me but why I do not know. I never have liked capital punishment but even I agreed with his fate when I heard about it, sooooo why the tears?
Well it must have something to do with the fact that he has been in the news so much; it’s almost as though we lost a famous movie star, maybe??? No! that’s not it -- I think it was when I read about his insistence on not wearing a hood and shouting “God is Good!” That is what brought the tears to my eyes, because I could envision this man hanging on the gallows without the hood (how gross that must have been). Anyhow, I also thought about all of the people who suffered and died at his hand and how he had to suffer the consequences of his own actions, just like some of the villains in the Bible.

Do you realize how you are witnessing history and will tell your children and grandchildren about the historical events taking place today (Gulf war, 911, a president who was impeached, Iraq war, President Bush, etc.)? These are all unpleasant events but one day your offspring will ask you about it as it will be part of their history lesson. I remember when John Glenn first walked on the moon, I had just delivered number three son. When President Kennedy was killed, I was in our living room vacuuming the floor when the news came on that he had been shot (was pregnant with number 1 son). I remember how stunned I was and how hard it had hit me when the announcement came on television that he had died. Programming was off for three days due to the news coverage of the events surrounding his death and I can still hear in my mind the beat of the drums and the horse and carriage that carried his body. I remember the evening news about Robert Kennedy being assassinated. President Eisenhower’s inauguration and the presidential elections way back then when he ran twice against Adelaide Stevenson and won both times. I can still remember when Malcolm X was killed, Hawaii became a state, the March on Washington, also when Martin Luther King was assassinated, when Emmett Till was killed, and many other historical events.

Tiired of Apologies

My patience has run out on PMP because every time I turn around, he is apologizing for something. This past week, I called to ask his wife if she would tell the children’s story for the kids in our church. During the service we have a short segment for the children and we have them come forward and sit on the front seats while someone either tells or reads them a story. Since I am the Children’s Ministry Leader, it is my responsibility to schedule people to do this. Since I didn’t want to wait until the last minute I called SP's home to ask her if she would do it. When the phone rang, PMP answered and was quite abrupt when I asked to speak to his wife, he cut me off short, stating that she was talking to an aunt who was here visiting and he would have her call me back. I then asked him if he had a good Christmas, and he again cut me off stating he was in hurry (or something like that). That was this past Wednesday, and today is Friday; church is tomorrow and I have not heard from her yet. PMP is kind of forgetful; therefore, it is my assumption that he forgot. PMP has offended me in several ways in the past three to four years he has pastured in our church, and every time, he apologizes. During the past few days, I have decided I’m tired of the apologies and just simply don’t want to hear another one from him when I go to church this Sabbath. I feel as though I either want to avoid church this week, which would be a mistake, or just ignore his apology.

God has a way of influencing me through my thoughts. He reminds me how I am always asking for forgiveness every time I sin. What would I do if God decided he was tired of hearing me apologize and turn his head away or ignore me? Because of my carnal nature, I want to give into my foolish pride because it will hard for me to go to church and hear another apology that to me seems to mean nothing. As mentioned above, I was planning in my mind to not only skip church, but also cancel the children’s story this week for lack of someone to tell it. I reasoned to myself that this would send them a message that they need to step up to the plate or there will be a vacancy in the position of Children’s Ministry and let them decide for themselves who will do it.

Again, the little voice I believe to be the Spirit of God came into my thoughts and reminded me that this is not the way to handle it, for Mark 11: 25, 26 says: And when ye stand praying , forgive if ye have ought against any that your father also which is in Heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in Heaven forgive your trespasses. It is amazing how He brought that thought into my mind right “on time.”

God Knew What he was Doing When he Gave a Little Mother Four Sons.

Approximately a month ago, I had planned to do nothing on Christmas day but just sit at home and for it to be just another day. However, as my dad has always told me, "The Lord knew what he was doing when he gave a little mother four sons." That is definitely true. A couple weeks ago, I received a call from number two son inquiring what my plans were for Christmas? I shared with him my plans to do nothing; but he wouldn't hear of it. He invited me to accompany him and his wife to their church on Christmas eve. I quickly accepted the invite as nothing being better than praising the Lord on Christmas eve. "B" also told me he wanted me to spend the night and spend Christmas day with them (Wow, something to look forward to). He then invited my number three son who is usually not particularly open to spending a lot of family time together. However, he joined us and we had a fantastic evening of dinner, going to see the holiday lights at a popular park here and church (at 11:00p.m.).

The next morning we slept in kind of late but upon arising on Christmas day, we had a wonderful circle of prayer, opening presents along with taking pictures (at which time I became ornery and started to put rabbit ears behind my daughter-in-law and that started a chain of rabbit ears in the pictures and a lot of laughs). Ohhhh and the presents, they started giving me presents and I thought they would never stop coming. We had a great time exchanging gifts. After eating breakfast, we went to visit other members of her family and this went on pretty much throughout the day. My other sons called and we exchanged highlights of our day and it seems as though everyone had a great Christmas.

To all my blogging buddies -- I would like to hear about your Christmas -- also I pray that each and everyone of you will be blessed from this day forward.

Received some shocking news towards the end of the day: We lost a great musician who was one of my favorites during my teen years, James Brown.

What about Hope?

David Cho, one of our Blog buddies, wrote a post on “hope,” a fascinating post in which he put a lot of thought into. He more or less ask those who commented to write a blog on what we feel hope is or means. Here is my version of what “hope” means to me.

Webster’s New World Third College Edition Dictionary says “hope” is a feeling that what is wanted will happen; desire accompanied by expectations.

I believe that hope means that someone wants something to happen whether it is good or bad. One may hope for or want a new car, a new house, etc. The Bible says: “ask and you will receive it, seek and you will find; knock and the door shall be opened to you”. Someone may hope for revenge on another person for a negative act against them. The Bible says: “Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord.”

Colossians 1:27 states …which is Christ in you, the hope of Glory. Psalm 71:5 says for thou art my hope, O Lord God: thou are my trust from my youth. After reading a few scriptures on hope, I came to the conclusion that the Lord God is our hope.

Hope also means to me that “There could be a light at the end of the tunnel.”

Does Still Water Run Deep????

Have you heard the saying "still water runs deep?" Well one of my sons proved this to be true. In his younger years as a child growing up, he was very quiet and shy (so everyone thought). I didn't get calls from the teacher because of his acting out behavior except once when he was in high school, the teacher called to tell me he was talking too much in class with a young lady who had a crush on him. I didn't get on his case because I was so happy to hear that he was talking.

Oh how I thought I was raising an angel (WRONG). When he was in second grade, he wrote a love letter to a girl in his class -- it said "I love you -- you give me goose bumps." I still have the letter to this day that has his drawing of him with the goose bumps. After all of my angels (so I thought), became adults and no longer had to fear being punished for their negative behaviors -- guess what. I have had the pleasure of hearing the truth from their own mouths. All of this happening while I was at work; thinking my sons were at home behaving themselves.

Actually, they were some fairly good guys. I enjoyed all the things we did together from little league to helping them find their first car to graduation day, etc. I could actually go on and on with this post but I will cut it short.

From Obituary Reading People/ To Who is Expecting the Birth of His First Child?

I have noticed that when a person picks up the newspaper, one of the first places they go to is the obituaries to see who has passed away. Even though no one wants to see a friend, relative, acquaintance die, I believe the object of going into that part of the newspaper has to do with curiosity -- looking to see if anyone you know has died lately and wanting to be the first to tell someone to see their reaction. It seems to me that during this time of year, deaths of people we know are on the increase. Between last November until this date, there has been approximately four people I know who died in Hospice. I have never had to visit anyone there until this past year. Presently, an old friend of mine who started school the same time I did as a little girl is now in Hospice and of course the first reaction to hearing that news is one of sorrow, thus knowing that person will die within the next day or two or perhaps in a couple of weeks to come. I have often wondered if anyone has ever left Hospice as a result of being healed -- another chance at life.
What a morbid post, but this is what was on my mind.

On a much happier note, my number two son and his wife are expecting their first baby in March. At one time, the wife didn't want to have children, and number two son went along with it out of love for his wife. Now, at age 40, he's excited he's going to be a daddy. This is my football playing, all around athlete son who looks very awkward doing anything domestic other than playing sports. Now he has to learn how to change diapers, bathe, feed the baby and stay up all night when he/she wakes them up every night for the first "I don't know how many months."

Insomnia

Woke up at about 4:40 this morning -- another bout with insomnia. Said morning prayer, turned on television for the weather and here I am on line. Nothing particular to say. Had a little drama going on yesterday but I put that like I do everything else in the Lord's hands. I guess I had a lot on my mind. Hope you all have a blessed day.

Cho Cho, if you are reading this, I know you agree with me about putting Brother Buck in the hands of the Lord? I do it everyday.

A Couple Little Tidbits

Last evening I attended a religious concert where my number three son sang a few solos. Afterwards I returned home and decided to watch a VHS movie. I turned on the television and the VCR/DVD player, then set it up to play the movie. I got pretty frustrated because it appeared the player wasn't working. I kept pushing the "play button," and turning the set off and on plus working with the remote control. Finally I decided the system was broke. When I turned around to go do something else, I discovered the video was tucked under my arm. DUH Ms. Gig -- you need to put the video in if you want to see the movie.

Today when I got to work, my supervisor let me in the door as I was carrying some papers for the office. Shortly after I got to my desk, I said "oh no, I left my purse in the car" I'll have to go back out and get it. After putting the papers on the desk, there was my purse in my hands. MZ GIG, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT???

A Triibute to Ed Bradley

At this time I would like to join many others who are remembering Ed Bradley, from 60 minutes who died this morning of Leukemia. I was shocked when I saw it on the news while attending the birthday party of my brother's step-daughter. Ed will be greatly missed and always remembered as the intelligent awarding winning CBS'anchor man on 60 minutes, the first black White House Correspondent, and someone who represented himself and his country well. His life story is very interesting; something I was unaware of until tonight when I came across his story on the internet and watched the coverage of his life on the news. I saw him on 60 minutes many times and to me, he was a newsman like Walter Cronkite or Dan Rather, etc. It's strange how you really don't know a lot about a person until they pass away.


To the family, friends, co-workers, and fans of Mr. Bradley; this is indeed a sad day, but we know that his life was a legacy and he will not be forgotten. You are all in my prayers.

Who Reads Instructions?

Certainly not I -- at least not all of them. I was so angry with myself Friday afternoon. Approximately a few weeks ago an intra office memo went out to all staff through our e-mail account, inviting us to a birthday party for our CEO who is turning 40. He is such a nice personable person and I really like him; therefore, I was looking forward to attending his birthday party. The night before, I went out and got some little "over-the-hill" type gag gifts and a humorous card.

The invitation had been sent out to us several times reminding us not to forget the party. I knew the time and the date so on Friday, I mapped out my plans -- I would go to the store on the way to the southeast branch of the company I work for. I work in one of the west side branches and it takes at least 15 minutes to get from one to the other. I went to the store and purchased a pecan pie, which was on sale. All the time I was planning to myself things I would say to tease the CEO about turning 40. I got to the Southside branch at about 11:20 and the party started at 11:15. Oh five minutes late, not bad. I went into the office and spoke to the receptionist who looked sort of puzzled and began chatting with me. She then asked what I was doing out there and I said to attend the CEO's party. She looked at me sort of puzzled and told me it wasn't there, it was in fact at one of the other west side locations. I then remembered that I had not read the whole flyer we received but only part of it and just assummed it was on the Southside. I was "hot" but had no one else to be mad at but myself. I argued with myself all the way back to the west side and was almost an hour late. It was a fun party and everything turned out well.

Another incident was when I decided to make some hot cereal in the micro-wave. Again I didn't read the instructions, saying there wasn't enough time to do so; therefore, I guessed at how much cereal and water, etc. to put in the bowl and started the oven going. When I heard the bell go off, I went to the kitchen, and took out the cereal. It was hard as a brick. Again, I ruffled my feathers about not following instructions. I believe he Lord gave me a moral to this story. Instructions are given to us so that we will not make mistakes and have to pay the consequences. He gave us the best book of instructions ever which tells us how to live a full, healthy wholesome and most of all Spiritual life; but we must read all of the instructions and follow them to a "T" and the outcome will become eternal life.

About African-Americans and the "Motherland"

Part One: The following is my opinion of how I have perceived things in the past and now in the present:

It should be noted that this post is not meant to offend anyone or any race -- it is just my perception of how I viewed this subject as I grew up.

Last week I overheard someone on the radio ask why African Americans name their babies such names as: Tyshika, Nakeisha, Deiondre, Tanisha, LaTisha and so on. I was unable to listen long enough to hear a response to that.

Therefore, here is my response, or opinion. Years ago, the Black community accepted the fact that their ancestors are from Africa. I would say that there was probably a time that we were not too proud of that. Whenever there were films shown about the African people, especially in school, they were poorly dressed, the females running around half naked, people living in huts, giving us the impression of an uncivilized place of uncivilized people who wore what looked like large wooden ear-rings in their noses and circular or oval pieces of wood in their lips or they just plain had big lips. The impressions of the African people we saw back in our days were embarrassing. We did not have the privilege of seeing the part of Africa where there are offices, schools, homes and where the country looks like any other part of the world and is beautiful.

At that time, the "negro" or "black" population did not realize that our ancestors were from Africa, thus making us have African blood running through our veins. I can remember when we became aware of the fact, that we were decedents of Africa and became proud of it. Therefore, it became our privilege to learn of that part of our heritage, and this became publicly known around the country. As a part of becoming proud of our ancestry, we became "African-Americans" instead of "negros" and decided it was time to take on names that were similar to African names. This was a part of our pride, again, our acceptance of our heritage; we belonged to a group of people. The African people are beautiful, intellegent,suffocated; a proud people. Actually the names are beautiful; they may be hard to spell and pronounce but those names represent us as a black African race of people. We need to be accepting of those names because they identify us as a people.

Unrelated circumstance: Speaking of senior moments: I generally call my phone at home or at work to remind myself not to forget to do this or that. This past week, I called my phone mail twice to leave a message not to forget something but forgot was I was going to remind myself to do.

To Have Faith or Not to Have Faith -- That is the question?

It's been approximately one week ago tomorrow since I encountered the second snake in my basement and I haven't been down in the basement since. What makes it so bad, I have been going out on faith about pretty much everything else, such as flying to Texas when I swore I would never fly, going on a cruise which I thought I'd never do; going in the water with the stingrays in the Grand Cayman; paying tithes even when it seems as though the money would not stretch, but it does. I have actually been satisfied with myself for going out on faith about a great deal of things and when I pray, I just leave it in his hand and go on without worrying; so...

Why can I not go out on faith, trust God and go down in my basement where I had put some clothes in the wash and there they are still in the washer. I didn't get a chance to start the washer. I have been having flash backs and keep seeing those snakes in my mind. I keep telling myself to have faith and go downstairs, but I simply can't do it. This is a way of telling God i don't trust that there will be none down there. On my way home from church one evening, I was listening to the radio and I heard someonne repeat a scripture "God did not give us the spirit of fear. I know that must have been a message to me not to be firghtened and lean on God. This is a situation that needs serious prayer and I am asking you all for prayer. Thank you in advance.

ANOTHER SNAKE IN THE BASEMENT

I AM FURIOUS!!!! ABOUT READY TO JUMP OUT OF MY SKIN!!! THERE IS ANOTHER SNAKE IN MY BASEMENT AND I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE FAST ENOUGH, I HATE SNAKES AND AM VERY FRIGHTENED OF THEM. ACTUALLY I'M STILL HAVING FLASH BACKS FROM THE LAST TIME I SAW A SNAKE IN MY BASEMENT!!! YIKES!!!!!!!!!! "YELLING OUT LOUD!!!" WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!! I'M LIVID, JUST LIVID!!!

Using My Time Wisely ?????

When I was in Elementary School (it was called "grade School" then) the grades on our report cards were: S = Satisfactory, I = Needs to improve and U=Unsatisfactory, with the "S" being the highest grade. Each time I received a report card it stated something like "doesn't use time wisely." I often wondered what they meant by that, after all I did well at school so how could they possibly say that I wasn't using my time wisely.

Now that I am MUCH older, I can see what they meant. I will start something and before I finish one thing, I've switched to something else. Whenever I plan to get a lot done around the house, I end up doing everything but. Take tonight for instance, I am supposed to be doing some extensive cleaning and throwing out things I don't need because I put my house on the market to sell. I want the house to look very nice when people come to see it. HOWEVER, what am I doing???? Blogging of course. I got some things done between watching television among other things. I suppose I'd better get back to what I'm supposed to be doing and try to stick to it, after all, it's almost my bed time.

"Why These Dreams?"

What's up with these dreams? This is unreal; do they mean something? This has been going on for quite a while. Here's the scoop: I was married for approximately 17 years, and that was a little over 40 years ago. We were divorced in 1980. We both eventually moved on with our lives even though there were four sons born to this union. We never see each other but maybe once a year and that is in passing. I fell in love hard with him back then, even though there were a lot of issues in our marriage. You might say he was my first real love. Soooo why do I have periods of time when I dream about him night after night after night. The man in my dreams is the young good looking one that he was when we were married. I believe him to be long gone. The guy he is today has let himself go and his appearance leaves nothing to be desired. He’s an alcoholic -- need I say more? I am actually ashamed to let anyone know that I was once married to him. Granted I’m not judging a book by his cover, he had a great personality when we were going together; however; that changed some time during the marriage.

I have not figured our why he appears in my dreams a lot. I'm not in love with him any more and I’m generally not thinking about him when I go to bed. One night I dreamed about him and I almost felt as though I was developing feelings for him but after I thought about it, the problem was I couldn’t get the dream off of my mind. Incidentally, the person in these dreams is the one I married years ago, not the person he has become now. When I woke up, I became frustrated and kicked him out of my dreams by asking the assistance of God to help me stop dreaming about him. Soooo, I haven’t dreamed about him since. But guess sometimes I may be missing his appearances in my dreams; after all, we usually have a great time; just llike back in the day; however, I really shouldn’t invite him back – he no longer exists.

Learning to Post Pictures

I am presently learning how to post pictures on my blog. This is a picture of my youngest son and his youngest daughter. We were in one of those stores where you choose a bear or a doll and dress it (can't remember the name of the store). We decided to put one of those doll wigs on "Q" to see what she looked like in one of them. We have a lot of fun clowning with the kids.

As School Starts, the Holiday are Just Around the Corner

School is starting back in Iowa. It seems like yesterday that the kids were let out and excited about summer. "We are moving right along" as I always say. Also one of my sayings is "right after school starts, we are looking at Christmas." Actually, I'm still trying to balance the budget from last Christmas. Ha, Ha,

Can you believe it? The holidays are pretty much upon us. Right after Labor Day, we will be going right into the season. Have you ever looked up the history or origin of the holidays? They all have pretty much originated from some kind of religious background. I have friends and/or some members of my church who claim that the holidays are pagan, and that may very well be. I know if you look it up in the encyclopedias, some of them are considered to be pagan. The Bible speaks against paganism, however, I'm not saying holidays are sinful. Even though there are some people in our church who do not believe in celebrating Christmas and Easter, I really don't know what to think, or maybe I just don't want to go there or face it since I enjoy them. I know that due to the way I was raised, and some of the religious teachings that I have had, plus some information I have gotten off of the internet, some of those holidays could be less than desirable, spiritually and most of all, Halloween. When I was a child, we had no thought of Satan as being the reason for halloween. We just enjoyed dressing up and going out begging for candy with our friends and comparing treats when we got home. In those days, people in the neighborhood went all out, they baked cookies, made popcorn balls, candy and all sorts of things and we didn't have to worry about anything being contaminated or harmful and the treats didn't have to be in packages from the stores. There were, however, pranks being played in those days and more so back in my parent's days, such as kids going around toppling over outhouses, jumping on the back of trolley buses and pulling the trollleys out of service and of course, soaking your windows if you had no threats. Also back in my days, we actually were given the opportunity of doing tricks for treats; however, now a days, there are so many kids who come to your door at once, there's not enough room or time to let them all do anything, plus you are afraid who may be coming to your door and why; plus parents now have to escort their children around just to keep them safe. One more thing, We enjoyed creating our own costumes and didn't need to go to the department store and buy expensive ones. We came up with some pretty funny and original ones and enjoyed every bit of it.

I don't know why I chose this direction to post on today, but I think that while I was commenting on school starting and the holidays being just around the corner, my mind just kept going on in this direction. I really don't like to be one of those people who find fault or bad in everything that is good or fun, but God is the most important factor in my life, and if I want to prove my love and loyalty to him; I must pray that I will seek out His Will about everything and be more than willing to obey.

"The Great Grandson"

Met the great grandson and he is a doll and very hard headed. He's only a year old and goes up and down stairs, jumps off the couch, is all over everywhere, and loves his little uncle "K." It's so funny, he latches on to "K" hugs him, follows him whereever he goes and "K" loves it. "K" is jealous of any attention we give to the grandson and makes sure that he is right in the middle of any interaction we give to little "T." "K" keeps telling me "T" likes me better than he does you."

My granddaughter is getting married next February, so we went looking for wedding dresses. That was fun. She is very pretty and looked wonderful in every dress she tried on. Yesterday I was ill and could not go with them but they found a dress and she was pretty excited when she got back. They will be leaving today so I probably won't see them again until February. She has matured somewhat in that her cooking is pretty good. However, some things never change.

My daughter-in-law has given her some very good advice about taking her marriage seriously and making a commitment to God. My daughter-in-law is very Spiritual and lives up to her beliefs. Maybe that is the reason she can put up with Buck like she does, he he he

"It's HOT in Texas!"

Went for a walk this Texas morning. It was on it's way to HOT. By the time I got done, I was sweating and water was dripping down my back and my hair feels like I just rinsed it. The weather will be in the hundreds pretty much all this week.

Oh oh, friends, I have just been summoned by the grandson to play with him and his toys, and that is an offer I cannot refuse. We have played hide and seek pretty much all day the last couple of days, watched a couple of movies, plalyed hide and seek, read books, played hide and seek, did a little math, (he is smart as a whip, cute as a button, and has more energy than all of us put together; plus he can't sit still a minute), and we played hide and seek.

The great grandson is due in this evening with his mother (my oldest granddaughter) and I will have to let you know how that goes; in the meantime, I need to go entertain "K" who just came in with a silly pair pf plastic glasses with a big nose, mustach, and beard.

One of my Worse Fears Came to Light Today...

If I can quit feeling jigger and jumpy, maybe I can complete this post. Anywho, today I was in the basement and had just put a tub of clothes in the washer when I looked over across from the washer and spotted a snake. OHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY, that is a complete "no, no" I was able to run past it and get upstairs but was quite jumpy. I called my dad and he decided to come over and kill it. He brought a shovel with him and we went downstairs, both of us were scared, I mean really scared, only I was worse off then he because he has killed snakes before, using a shovel. When I saw it move, I began to scream and he was hacking at it and chopped it into, and he grabbed my clothes out of the washer because I was not going to put them in the dryer and have to go back downstairs. Anyway, on my way out to the car, I opened my front door, only to see lots of wasps flying around, so I had to rush to my car, went to the store and purchased some spray to get rid of the wasps, therefore, when I returned home, I had to spray my way into the house. I'm glad that I am flying to Texas tomorrow for two weeks, and I will not return home for sometime after I return from Texas. Excuse any typo's, mispellings, etc. I am too shook up to proof this post.

"God's Miracle/Biird in House

God has done it again! Wow I love him so! I was really upset earlier today because I thought someone had stolen some money out of my purse and I owed this money to someone. I searched and searched but to no avail. I didn't have enough money in my checking account to replace it; therefore, I took on some added stress. I decided to just not worry about it because I was sure God would handle it for me. I knew it would take one of those awesome, right on time miracles that the Lord does in times like these. What do you think happened? Yes, I found the money and had more. I had let go and let God and he came through as usual. "Thank you Jesus"

Another thing, after I got home from church I proceeded to open my front door but before I could go into the house, a bird flew past me into my home. As far as I'm concerned, birds are not welcome inside the house -- only outside. I panicked and left right back outside. I went to my next door neighbor's house and knocked on the door. Because it seemed as though he wasn't home, I approached another neighbor whho was walking his dog. I asked him to help me get the bird out and meanwhile my other neighbor, who came over and tried to shew the bird toward the door. Meanwhile thhe other neighbor came in, and between the two of them they got the bird out. I wish you could have seen them, they were being very cautious or shall I say kind of scared themselves. It was so funny to see.

"What Have I Done Now???

While on my way to church this past Sabbath, I came to a stop light. A woman drove past me going in the opposite direction. I looked up and it appeared that she was angry at me about something as I could tell she was kind of yelling and waving her hands at me. I looked really puzzled because I could not figure out what I possibly could have done to make her annoyed at me, so I drove on to church. After the services, I went to my car, got in and proceeded to drive off of the driveway when all of a sudden, I looked in the side view mirror and saw a fellow member waving her hands to me, trying to get my attention so I would stop. After stopping, I rolled down my window and asked what was wrong. She told me that one of the tires on my car was flat, really flat. I parked the car and looked at the tire and indeed it was very flat. At that moment, I remembered the woman earlier who appeared to be yelling at me and decided that she was just trying to tell me my tire was flat. OH NO!! I didn't drive all the way to church on a flat tire did I??? Well I guess I did and didn't feel the car wobble or anything. DUH!! What am I coming to?

"The Crazy Things we Do and Laugh About"

One of my daughters-in-law and I have a unique relationship in that we share funny tidbits about ourselves with each other. We both have funny senior moments, laugh and try to blame it on the fact that those funny things happen as a result of us being around each other.

When I was there helping with my granddaughter who recently had a bone marrow transplant to be cured of sickle cell disease, we kidded, joked and crummed on each other for the whole two weeks I was there. It was therapeutic.

Some of the things we shared were stupid little habits we have, and it was funny when we found out that both of us do those crazy things, for instance: I don't like to see people sleeping with their heads buried in a pillow because I'm afraid they will suffocate; consequently, if I happen to put a stuffed bear, a doll, or etc. on it's face, I will turn it face up as though I actually think it might suffocate, or I don't put boxes of food upside down on the shelf because if a human being is on his/her head too long, the blood will rush to it. It's almost as though I think everything has feelings like I do; however, I really know better. As we were sharing these funny little habits, my granddaughter began to laugh at us, and she decided that for my sake, she will make sure that all of her dolls are face up.

About a week ago, I went grocery shopping. Among my groceries, I purchased a can of beans. When I opened it, the first thing I saw was a bug floating on top. In order to make sure it was a bug, I took it out with a spoon and it began to move. Therefore, I got a sandwich bag and put the bug in so that I could return it, along with the beans to the grocery store. But wait, "this bug may suffocate in the bag" O thought;" therefore, I punched a whole in it so the bug could breathe.

My daughter-in-law and I usually have what I call "senior moments," such as looking all over for my purse and it's on my shoulder, putting something in the refrigerator that should be put in the oven,looking for her glasses and they are on top of her head, etc. Sharing these little tidbits can be amusing, and laughing at them between the two of us is therapeutic. I enjoy my time with her because we have this kind of relationship and we laugh at ourselves a lot, plus we have crazy fun times with the kids. She cracks me up because she knows every word of the songs that her kids listen to on CD's or the radio.

Today, I was talking to one of the secretaries at work and she shared with me that last night she got a sweet tooth and wanted something sweet to eat but there was nothing around the house; therefore, she happened to have a container of icing and ate all of it. I fell out laughing because I have done that same thing several times.

There are so many other "dumb" things that we do, and laugh about when we share them with each other. Actually, it is funnier when you hear us tell it because we are able to put more umph into our stories.

It's Time for the Grandkids Again - Happy Grandma!

Talked to the "Little Man" last evening. He sounded so grown up. Mommy said he's getting taller. Dad says he looks like Mommy's dad. I can't imagine; I still see the little guy I visited last summer. It's hard to watch the little ones grow away from you. He will be five this year but I bet he still has that prize winning personality. Mommy and dad have kept him busy this past summer with soccer ball, and T-ball, basketball (which he enjoyed tremendously and was good at it too), and whatever else he was doing; *grandma is smiling from ear to ear.* Little T is such a happy little camper, you can hear his smile when he talks to you and his laughter in the background when talking to the parents (between the yelling "get down from there," "don't do that," "eat your green beans," and whatever kind of trouble he is getting into. I must say, he is all boy.

This summer I will have the pleasure of seeing my great grandson for the first time. I'm looking forward to that. Will that be a pleasure? well, from what I hear from mom when talking to her, it's going to be quite a challenge, but who cares? I'm grandma -- I can deal with it. *smiley face*

I'm Not Sure How I am Feeling

I'm not angry or mad. Am I sad? No, livid - maybe, disappointed, outdone perhaps, or maybe just a little peeved, I guess.

After my mother's death 10 years ago, I have been more or less tip towing around my dad and pretty much anyone I love because I'm afraid if I say anything wrong to them, tell them "no" about anything or basically let them know when they have upset me, that they may die before I have a chance to make things right and I would feel guilty.

A few years after my mom died, my dad re-married. Even though I was in my fifties, I didn't take to the person he married, and most of our family felt the same way. It seemed as though she was unfriendly and just different. I might even say that there have been red flags. She is a lady Evangelist and seems to be a devout Christian. The reason I feel sort of funny about her is because my dad has always and still tells me things that made me feel that way, before and after the marriage. I will not elaborate on it, but there are several things going on in their marriage that makes me uneasy. Like I said before, my uneasy feelings are a result of things my dad has said, especially when he needs to vent. Usually, I'll just say, he puts me in the middle of their situations.

There was a situation just yesterday that involving my dad where he again put me in the middle, and apparently I either said something or my body language relayed my disapproval. Even though their affairs are none of my business, because I love my dad, I just want him to be happy and not taken advantage of; therefore, when he takes me into confidence and tells me something that he's perhaps unhappy about, I will make negative comments, and complain about her. I do; however, treat her nice when I am around her so she would have no idea that he's been talking to me.

Yesterday I picked him up from church and took him home. That's when the conversation came up. Later that evening, he called and told me not to say anything about what we talked about, which he always does after one of his venting sessions. He tole me I act as though I don't accept her, but my brother does, and I am causing problems and I need to give her a chance. I was frustrated because I think I told him that the reason I feel the way I feel is because of what he tells me. In my opinion, it is him causing the problem by venting to me and expecting me to ignore what he is telling me. I am no doubt wrong because I allow him to do so, but I just want him to feel he can talk to me when he needs to. I then told him that I don't want him telling me anything else about them and he agreed. I need to know if I am in fact causing a problem. Need some advice

"He Sang His Presentation"

What can a mother say when one of her sons has made yet another great milestone in his life. Last week, number three son went to Wisconsin for the whole week to prepare to get his Master's Degree. Apparently they had to work in groups for the week. Each day some of the students had to do their presentations. There were approximately 500. They did their presentations in their own groups, and when it was "T's" turn, he sang the first part of his presentation. He is a vocal music teacher and has a talent for acting and singing as well. Somehow it got around that he could sing and then he was asked to sing in front of 500 or more people which he did. He kept getting compliments on his singing the rest of the day.

Also, I would like to wish him a very happy birthday and may the Lord continue to bless him and his siblings throughout their life time.

"Living With Guilt"

Guilt -- it can eat you alive! Today was "G's" funeral as he was cremated just after his death and we have been waiting for his family to arrive from out of town. It was a wonderful service. I sat there and listened to the music, comments, and just took in the whole service. All of a sudden my eyes were fixed on a small porcelin type square container. I knew right away that his ashes were in there. It gave me a feeling of sadness because knowing that was what was left of him.

I have been in my own way mourning him. He was my cousin and someone I really cared about. No matter how he lived his life, he always made me laugh and everyone else he came in contact with.

The guilt I'm feeling today is the fact that after being in a nursing home for about a year or more, he finally got out and was renting a cute little house. He came by one day to visit me and told me where he lived and asked me to come by some time. I said I would. He came by again some time later and visited with me but since I was on my way (I think to church), I couldn't visit with him very long. The last time he called me, he was inebriated and I can hardly remember our conversation, but I do remember him mentioning to me to drop by and again I said I would. In my travels about town, to and from work, out to the lake to walk, to the store and other places, I did intend to go by and visit, but I never made it. In my mind now I wondered if he was lonely and just needed someone to talk to. I keep thinking that perhaps if I had gone over there a few times, maybe he wouldn't have been drinking and maybe I could have made a difference. I know that God will relieve me of this guilt some time soon, but in the mean time, I keep think of him and tearing up. Please pray for me.

"I'm Not Doing Anything Without My Dad"

She exclaimed as she told me her happy news. I was very touched as I listened to my oldest granddaughter tell me how her boyfriend took her to dinner, and proposed to her, after he asked her dad for permission to marry her first. As we talked about the wedding plans, she blurted out -- "I want my dad to be there." "I'm not going to do anything without my dad." I beamed as I heard the love in her 23-year-old voice, as she sounded like a little girl who truly loves her dad.

When she was three and one-half months old, she came to live with us. A beautiful little baby girl who was quickly spoiled by our family. Her dad was in college and took on custody of his little girl and as young as he was, he was like both mother and father to her. I remember when he was in college and how all of his classmates admired this young student who was not only the "student of the month" the whole time he was there, but prevailed in his classes while raising an infant child. He even received notes from his peers about how they admired him.

Just before the graduation ceremony, there was a program that took place where a taping was shown of each student, their accomplishments and their goals. Afterwards there was a social gathering kind of like an open house. Dad had his little girl right there with him, she was dressed to a "T" and dad was proud.

Number one granddaughter presented many challenges throughout her life (and that's putting it mildly), but dad hung in there with her even throughout the drama she presented constantly, etc., even when he sometimes felt like giving up. She always knew who she could count on even when she was angry with him and disrespectful.

I cannot leave out the wife as she was strict, but loving and "S" needed that even though at times she resented her step mom, but in the long run, she learned to appreciate her and looked up to her as a true mother figure.

I have seen her grow in several ways during the past few years and now she is a mother, and I would say a pretty good one. The love between "S" and her is a very unique one as it is with most "daddy's and daughters." I am happy for her and hope the LORD will bless their marriage. God bless you "S" and I love you.

"Deep Thoughts"

Early this morning I woke up and could not get back to sleep. What was in my thoughts? I was thinking about my cousin, "G" who died last Monday and how I found out yesterday he had already been cremated. My thoughts were on last Monday when I was at Hospice the night before he died. I guess you might say that I am livid because one day he is a living soul with a body and mind. I was able to talk to him and he was able to think and feel. I could look upon his face and see expressions, even though he was dying and it was absolutely horrible to see him that way, it was him in the flesh. Three days later, he is just ashes. I keep thinking about how one day you are living your life in your body and three days later you could be ashes, as though you never existed at all. I remember talking to him, kissing him on the forehead, brushing his hair back as I tried to say everything I wanted to say to him before he would pass away and I just cannot get over the fact that he's not him anymore.

I know this does not make much sense but to me, this is deep thinking. I have never experienced anything like I did last Monday. However, while I am typing, the Lord is helping me to understand because he brought to my mind that if he had never been cremated, "G" would still not exist anymore and would still not be a living being, but I guess the reality of my thinking is that at least there would be a body to prove that he was once here. I know that this is morbid, and probably doesn't make much sense but I just needed to vent and what better way to do it then on the blog, that way you could share your thoughts without bothering someone else that needs their sleep. I know that God will bring me through this like he does everything else and I must listen to my thoughts from Him.

Now I think about his siblings and how they were all at odds with each other and yet, now they have to come and bid him farewell without being able to make amends. How terrible that must be to be at odds with someone, never be reconciled and next thing you know they are gone. I can imagine how his four siblings must feel. There is one sister and you can say she's the backbone of the siblings. My cousin was angry with her for something she didn't do and she is the only one who was not at odds with any of her siblings. She is a believer and has Christ in her life. People cannot take God for granted; life is too short that is why while you still have a chance you should make peace with those you are at odds with, especially if are family. I must learn to listen to God and not trust my own thinking. Thanks for putting up with my morbid venting.

"A Very Sad Time"

I spent most of last weekend at the hospital with my dad and he got out on Sunday (6-25-06). The next day (6-26-06)after returning from work and spending some time just at the house watching one of my favorite sitcoms, "Friends" I received a call from one of my cousins telling me that his brother had been in the hospital and they were transferring him to Hospice and that he wasn't going to make it this time. This cousin drank a lot and had gone to the hospital several times. Once he fell down the stairs backward and almost lost his life but he recovered. Later he ended up back in the hospital because of his drinking and as a result, he was court-ordered to a nursing home where he spent pretty much a year. While there, he was not allowed to drink. Whenever I went to visit him I would try to reason with him about his drinking from the standpoint that he had gone a long time without taking a drink so he could go from now on, and when he got out, he should not drink. However, he had to get a lawyer to help him get out of the nursing home. My dad and I visited him several times and he was back to his old habit, telling me he was only drinking beer. In my eyes, alcohol is alcohol whether it comes in beer or whatever. Anyway, a bunch of us all met at Hospice and gathered in his room. He was not coherent but could hear us talk to him. The staff member told us what to expect and to talk to him because he could hear us. He also informed us that this would be our last chance to say whatever we wanted to say to him. We spent the evening talking to him, praying for him, reading scriptures and we also got him to accept Christ as his Savior. At 4:44 a.m. the next morning, he passed away.

"You Said What?"

I returned home from Minnesota last Thursday (6-22-06). My granddaughter is doing well and taking her situation like a real trooper. Pretty much on my arrival at home I got situated and decided to check my phone messages. Among those messages was a fellow congregant telling me that there will be a rehearsal for communion at church on Friday (6-23-06) at 6:30 p.m.

The next day I went to work but had to report to a different office for the day. At 4:00 I left work and went home to get ready for church. I checked my phone messages and there weren't any so I went on to church. When I arrived, the pastor was just ending a Bible lesson and afterwards he began the rehearsal by informing everyone how they will participate in the communion service and then I heard him say a couple of names of people who will not be there. All of a sudden I heard one of our deacons mention my dad's name and said that he had been rushed to the hospital earlier that day and had surgery. I was startled and looked at him, saying, "are you talking about my dad?" He said "yes" and repeated it to me. I had not been aware of the circumstances at all. I asked to be excused and went directly to the hospital where I found my dad and his wife. He said he had tried to get me at work and on my home phone and I told him I was working in another department where I work occasionally and I had not gotten a message on my home phone, plus he has the phone number of both offices.

It was definitely a shock to find out that my dad was not only in the hospital but had undergone surgery. He had a cyst on his hip that had gotten quite large over a couple of days. His pressure went way up and they were having trouble getting it down and because they couldn't stop the bleeding from his surgery earlier that day, he had to go back to surgery and have the bleeding stopped. (Wow, what an ordeal). Thanks to God answering prayer, everything came out fine and after a two day stay at the hospital, he was released today.

My dad will be 86-years-old in July and is a work-a-holic. He has always been a very busy person who has retired four times. He just cannot function unless he is working. The last time he retired which was last year, I think will be the last time; however, he is very active around the house. The doctor has told him to slow down and to not carry heavy things which he wasn't supposed to do anyway, but has never stopped doing. It is my opinion that he will continue to do more than he is supposed to do because he was supposed to be keeping still in the hospital but was wandering around all over and busying himself in spite of our trying to stop him.

"I'm Outta Here"

Tomorrow I am going to Minnesota to help my son and his wife with M while she re-cooperates. She is doing well and was released from the hospital early. I can't wait to see the girls. I will be back on the 22nd.

I have been up all night with insomnia. My son offered to drive me to Minnesota. I guess I'll have to take him up on that. It has become quite pleasant for me on the highway because it seems as though the other drivers are playing a game such as passing each other. I will pass someone, a few minutes, they will pass me and probably another 20 min. There's another car playing the game with me. (I'm sure that I'm the only one playing this game). TA DA!

"Once a Year, My Dad and I Together"

This Memorial Day, I was blessed to spend some quality time with my dad. I have not always been thrilled to spend a lot of time with him, because he would usually do or say something that would rub me the wrong way, however, I have felt what I would say is the “Spirit of God” reasoning with me about my dad.

I took him to the cemeteries yesterday to put flowers on the graves he has so diligently decorated over the years. I can remember him, my mother, grandmother, and grandfather going out to decorate graves every year. Then one year “grandpa” passed away leaving this task to the three of them, and several years after that, my grandmother passed away; leaving my parents to do the same ritual. Some of those relatives (on both sides of the family) died many years ago, but “daddy,” as I still affectionately call him is very determined to continue remembering those people each and every year. My mother passed away in 1995, thus passing the torch to my dad and me. Every year since we have gone to the graveyards and remembered our loved ones together.

Yesterday after I picked him up and we headed toward Glendale Cementary, I relayed to him how much I cherish this time we get to spend together and that I consider this our time.

I have been blessed to have him for 85 years, most of which I have been angry with him for things he did in the past. By the Grace of God, even though he can still work my nerves, I am starting to realize how much I really love and appreciate him. At least as I have said in a previous blog, “at least he is still here to work my nerves as do many parents to their children.”

“Daddy” has a bladder problem (as do I), but his is much worse. He constantly has to use the bathroom. I remember when it aggravated me whenever I took him places that I would constantly have to wait for him to use the restroom. However, yesterday, I didn’t mind it and believe me, he must have used it about four times at Glendale Cemetary. We spent approximately two hours there trying to find graves we decorate every year; but it did not bother me as it would have in the past. After we left the one cemetery, we went to Sunset Memorial Gardens where my mother is buried. After another trip to the restroom,we took care of a few other graves. After that, I spent approximately an hour and a half trying to help him find a park where our church was having a picnic. He kept saying to me “I’m sorry I’m being a burden/nuisance to you. I told him to “quit it,” I don’t mind," and I meant it.

After I took him home (as we did not find the picnic spot), I watched him climb the steps to his house as he slowly went up, holding on to the rail. It brought tears to my eyes to see a man who has always been so active and a workaholic, take so long to climb the stairs. “Will this be our last year going to the graves together?” I certainly hope not and I will always look forward to this past-time with him as long as God allows me the pleasure to do so.

"From One Granddaughter's Cord to Another Granddaughter's Marrow"

GOD IS GOOD!!!!!


During the recent cord blood transplant my granddaughter had, she underwent a week of chemo-therapy before the actual proceedure. Mom had combed her hair the night before and it started coming out.

Journal

Thursday, May 25, 2006 8:36 PM CDT

Yesterday we played beauty shop and got rid of all the extra hair on "M's" pretty little round head. It was hard to sit there and comb out all the hair she had grown back in two years, Daddy also had a hard time with it, but "M" like the trooper she is decided to be the life of the party. She told us how many cartoon characters she looked like with her hair gone. Daddy said she looked like "Crocker" from the "Fairly Odd Parents". We all laughed and took it in stride because it didn't bother "M" one bit. She was a little calmer today, a little more nauseas. Her white count is .1 (that's good in transplant terms). Hopefully things will continue to progress positively.....!!!

This was the last update we received on my granddaughter's website concerning the cordblood she received from her baby sister. She had beautiful long hair. This is her second transplant in her fight against Sickle Cell Anemia. Asking for everyone's prayers for her. Thank you.

"DOING BETTER TODAY!"

Thanks to the LORD, my little girl is doing better today. We have been playing with her Bratz dolls and other stuffed toys. We talk for them and have made up story lines just like the soap operas. The girls love it when their silly grandma plays dolls with them. Okay, okay -- I am a kid at heart. Little Ms. "M" and her younger sister "O" have a lot of Bratz dolls and they know all of the names. There are boys and girls, plus little baby Bratz. These dolls play together, go together, date, have arguments, make up, go to time out for being bad, go to school, get kicked out, go to games, dining, dancing and to the movies. I was afraid for a minute that the nurse might have me committed, as she was laughing at us having such a great time playing dolls. When "O" comes today, we will resume the next episode with the teenagers in our sitcoms. ha, ha, ha -- I love my grandchildren, they are bright spots in my life.

Oh, oh, I haven't talked to "K" yet this weekend. I'm having withdrawals. I must call and have my weekend conversation with him so we can sing each other songs and talk about his T-ball and soccer games.

The Day After Transplant Day

Today started off very stressful. My granddaughter developed a rash (hives) shortly after the transplant yesterday. This morning those hives started to itch and burn. She was so very uncomfortable and started to cry. It was so bad that I thought she was going to loose it. We told her doctor and she ordered some kind of medicine, but it took so long to get it. The Benedryl that had been put in her IV was not working today. It was very hard on grandma to see her that way. I can say this... Sickle Cell Anemia is NO JOKE. My granddaughter told me that this was about the worse thing she had gone through; that it was worse than the radiation she had undergone during the last transplant. After they finally got the medication in here, she was able to relax and she became her sweet little self again and her pleasant personality came back. I was praying a lot and asked for prayer. May God bless little "M" and keep her well and safe.